It Is a 5 Day Work Week

I didn't sleep well again last night. I am pretty sure I was dreaming but I cant remember the details. I used to sleep so well before K2. He must have rubbed off on me. I woke up this morning annoyed at my alarm. It was so nice not being told what to do for those wonderful four days. Alarm went off. Grumpy me got up. Grumpy me got in the shower. Grumpy me got even grumpier when I realized I would be in work in an hour.

I start having anxiety come about 4PM on Sunday afternoon. I have to put it aside because it gets so bad that sometimes it can ruin my whole evening. I hate Monday anxiety. What a drag. I find whenever I am sad or anxious about something I really have to concentrate my positive energy. Not wanting to go to work can easily turn into missing K2, thoughts of self-hatred, depression etc. How easy those feelings can creep in.

Good news. I can usually stop myself now. I give my hurt and pain a few minutes or hours and then put it in a box. Done.

Today I am grateful for:

The program

My family

My trip to Germany
Christmas

P.S. I went to church yesterday. I will blog more tomorrow :)

Happy Days...

Happy Friday! Still not feeling great. I am having a good day today though. The weather is nice and I will get out of work at 4PM today. I don't have specific plans for the weekend, but tonight I plan to have a relaxing evening on my couch in front of the t.v. I sorta want to go shopping, but in these financial times I feel it would be rather irresponsible of me.

A little note about something I noticed about myself riding the subway home yesterday. I like feeling miserable. Okay, maybe I don't like it but it comes naturally to me. Sometimes when I am tired or not feeling well I begin to mistake those feelings for sadness and depression. I stop... and tell myself- Kris you're not sad- you are just feeling tired. Its funny how I get so used to something (even when its not a good something) that I just automatically revert to it.

Saturday I am hoping to enjoy the beautiful fall weather in NYC. Go Boston Red Sox and have a fabulous weekend.

Today I am grateful for:

Friday!!!!

openness and honesty

My HP

Sunshine

The weekend

Sleeping in