Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Light Bulb Moment

I rediscovered Alanon a little over two months ago. Some people have that light bulb moment of awareness when they realize that their lives have been affected by alchololism. I feel that I have known my whole life that I was affected and continue to be affected by the disease. I first came to Alanon as a teen. I participated in Alateen, but never grasped the full understanding of the program. It wasnt until very recently that I finally had the light bulb moment... like the sun rising out of a black sky.

I found myself at 28 years old in another failed relationship, a mediocre job and a social life revolving around the next night out or party. I decided to start living through the pain that I have been trying so hard to cover up. Life is hard, but its better than not living at all. I have no idea what I want in life. I have never actually taken the time to figure that out, but through this program I am beginning to learn what I don't want. Piece by piece... one imperfect day at a time.

I have been inspired by the people I have met and have read about over the past months. I hope and pray that through meetings, keeping this journal and my HP that one day at a time I will continue to discover me.

1 comment:

jiggins said...

If writing in a blog has done anything .. it has helped me to become more aware of what I am actually thinking, how I feel and where to put that energy. It is a map of sorts.. albeit a little haphazard at times.. it is a creative outlet. When dealing with the lessons that we put ourselves through in our current lives, writing it all down and sharing it is another way of asking for advice from those around us. Even if those around us are unknown by name, there is a common bind and it will allow us to all come together. Life is what we live for! I'm glad you decided to share it. Thanks! See ya on the next page!