Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Attitude of Gratitude


Today I am trying my best to have an attitude of gratitude. I learned of an old friend's passing last night. It was someone who used to be like family to me, but have sense lost touch with. I feel sad, angry and grateful all at the same time.

This person is someone I spent a fair share of time with in my early 20's. He was older than me and I felt he was like a brother figure to me during that time in my life. I am the oldest of three girls... so having a positive male role model in my life was something I never fully appreciated until now. Because of family circumstances I had not spoken to this person in almost six years. There was never any specific animosity between us, but there is still much between our families.

I feel grateful today that I have my family with me and that we do not have to endure this horrible tragedy. Life truly is short and I must live everyday like it could be my last. I get so caught up with the small things in life, that often I forget to step back and appreciate all I have around me. How quickly I find fault in others or get upset over petty things. Just for today I want to appreciate with gratitude all the amazing things I have in my life.

On that note I would like to acknowledge something that I struggle with. In the ACOA Laundry list it states "ACOA’s become addicted to excitement and drama, which can give them their fix of adrenaline and the feeling of power which accompanies it. " This is difficult for me to admit, but I find myself wanting to get caught up in the drama surrounding my friend's death. It is so easy to want to stick myself in the middle of something that is really none of my business. I am praying to my HP for peace, acceptance and comfort for not only myself but for his family and friends. I need to acknowledge the tragedy and realize that I am powerless over it. The situation does not need to become a huge drama in my life today.

Today I am grateful for:

My life.
My family.
My HP watching over me and my loved ones.
Alanon/ACOA
Acceptance that just because something terrible happens, I can choose to see the good in it.

1 comment:

Cat said...

I am so sorry for your loss and I marvel at your ability to embrace the good in life. Cat