Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Back in the saddle again...

I don't know why I haven't written in so long. I have been lazy. I have been lacking in recovery. I have been wrapped up with "the others" Combination of all of it I guess. I am fighting through it. Still going to meetings. Not nearly enough, but still going. I know this too shall pass. I am going to make an effort. Not because I have to but because I want to and its good for me. Thanks to everyone that checked up on me. I am doing well... happy for the most part. Still dealing with the day to day. I am getting better at letting go of somethings and most likely picking up new vices.
One of the key characteristics of an ACOA is the tendency to have a black and white perspective. It's always all or nothing with me. When I do it... I do it 150% and when I am bored of it I move on to the next thing. Balance is something I lack. So, this is my reattempt at balance. Germany got the ball rolling for me. The trip was amazing but the lack of schedule took a toll on me. It was too easy to change patterns that were still so fresh in the making. I have been struggling since I have been home to get back into a routine. I need to say this all out loud because it is easy to ignore if I don't. I have been more social again lately. I started dating again. All good things in moderation, but when any one thing dominates that's where the trouble lies. I know the drill. I haven't been reading my devotionals and my talking to HP is less. I need to get back on the horse.

So much has been going on in my life. Maybe that's part of the problem too. I have so much to say all the time. I never know where to begin. I guess right here would be a good place. For now I am back... just for today.

Today I am grateful for:

People who care about me and my well being
A HP that loves me even when I turn my back
LOST Season 5
Having a job for today
Being self-sufficient
Shrimp Fried Rice


Syd said...

I think sometimes I have to just regroup. I get burned out with meetings and then when I am away and for some reason don't make them, I realize how much I miss them. So I went to one last night while on my trip to FL.

Cat said...

Balance is such a hard thing for me as well - I think these days if I can relate everything to becoming a habit, like eating well, working out - then I figure in time my new habits of Al anon, working steps, seeing a therapist will eventually sink in and hopefully help to balance me out.

I have missed you and am glad you are back in the saddle again!

big Jenn said...

I take breaks from blogging too., but I like the feedback here. It's a good group. jeNN

Indigo said...

I'm trying not to take a break and disappear off the radar for a few days..sometimes you need to. Balance is something I think we all strive for. One way I look at life is no matter how hectic, chaotic I wouldn't get through half of it if I were not sober.

Missed your post! (Hugs)Indigo

Anonymous said...

You don't owe any of us an explanation. I know that I definitely understand. I'm just glad that you're back.


Anonymous said...


I just started writing again as well.

Perhaps, we could keep each other motivated? I'm not so good about going to meetings, so this blog shit helps me quite a bit.....just to take it a lil' bit at a time.

That's the secret, no?